March 2020 - Covid, Breathwork & The Tiger King

4 years on since the world went into lockdown and I’ve been reflecting a little on what happened for me at that time.

31^st March 2020, I believe we were probably just a few days into lockdown in the UK after Covid-19 had arrived to change our lives forever.

There was a lot of uncertainty around, a lot unknown about this virus. Where had it come from? How was it spreading? How was it affecting us? Sad and tragic news was being shared from places it had already spread widely before reaching the UK. Devastating loss of life.

The media was not holding back with instilling fear amongst us all. People being admitted to hospital and put on ventilators as this virus was attacking our respiratory system. What? It’s stopping us from breathing? They would report daily stats on cases reported and fatalities. Nothing positive was coming from watching any media updates.

On this day in particular, I had woken up feeling a little under the weather. I had put it down to not sleeping well and feeling a little stressed from everything going on around us.

As the day progressed, I felt weaker and started to develop body aches and a fever. I knew this wasn’t a good sign. A few days earlier, I had attended a spin class at the gym and there was almost a knowing as I entered that room that there was something sinister lingering in the air.

There was no testing available at this stage so I took myself off to bed and tried to sleep, I started to feel myself burning up. Checking my temperature, it was 40, one of the symptoms that had been shared. I’ll take some ibuprofen, or did they say that makes it worse and I can only take paracetamol? Or was it the other way around? Can I take anything to help these symptoms?  

A slow panic started to build within me. This virus is inside me, I am going to wake up on a ventilator and face potential end of life. My thoughts began to spiral, I felt my chest tightening as I thought I was dying. This went on for a few long minutes until all of a sudden, something switched within me, hang on a second, this is just my mind causing stress and panic in my body. I don’t know any of this I am telling myself is true, I took some deep breaths and asked myself what did I know that was true?

I knew I wasn’t well, but I told myself that my body is incredibly powerful and if there is a virus I’ve contracted, (which I was sure I had read was of a similar strain to the flu virus), then my body needs all its energy to fight it. Not to waste it on panicking. My body can handle a version of the flu, I can handle a version of the flu. I need to breathe. Breathing will help me to feel calmer, boost my immune system and help whatever this is move through my system quicker. And so, I breathed, slowly and deeply, calming myself and my body down. I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke the next day, the fever was gone but the congestion and weakness remained. Deciding to try and clear the congestion by inhaling some vapours, I didn’t have a steamer so had a makeshift bowl of boiling water and a towel over my head. I couldn’t smell the vapours so thought I maybe hadn’t put enough in, but I could feel the heat and the steam on my face. A slight adjustment in position and I knocked the bowl of boiling water all down my front…….red raw and beyond sore, my chest was burning.

I screamed! What is happening and why and I experiencing all of this? I tried to sleep but with the heat and stinging coming from my burns, it wasn’t an easy night. I realised I was still carrying a lot of fear and needed to release this. I turned to my breath to support me and it did as I released the tears I'd been holding in, some weren't even mine. I cried for all the pain i'd seen on the media and for those who were losing their loved ones. It wasn't just me experiencing this, we were all in this together. 

I continued isolating in my room as I was not living alone and it was the Tiger King (Netflix) that got me through the next few days. That and plenty of homecooked meals and snacks being left outside my door by my gorgeous mum. I couldn’t taste a single thing, another symptom, I love my spicy foods but no amount of chilli was activating my tastebuds.

I wasn’t engaging with any news to keep my mind clear and focussed on my recovery. When I had enough energy to get up and about, I remained isolated in my room as guidelines were constantly changing at this time and I wasn’t sure how long I may be carrying the virus or it may remain contagious.

I burned some incense, which was a part of my daily spiritual practice, and I couldn’t smell a thing. Usually I could smell this particular incense from downstairs once I’d burned it for a minute, but right under my nose there was nothing. Another symptom.

Day 5, I broke out in a full body rash. What now?! Someone shared with me that this was another symptom and again I did my best not to freak out and self-diagnose something else! Thankfully it was gone within 24 hours but I knew my body was still recovering from whatever this was.

I maintained my breathing practice and this is what kept me sane and grounded and stopped me from spiralling! It came to me that with all of my training and work I have done, I was still going down the route of fear and unknown. The panic got me and was starting to make me spiral until I managed to pull myself out. What about all of those people who didn’t have access to what I knew? What about people who didn’t know about the power of their breath and how it can support them through the toughest and scariest of times?

I need to share this far and wide, and I need to share it now. Hereon I started showing up on social media a lot more. Live classes, free sessions, workshops everyone could join. I created communities and it was unbelievable the engagement and feedback I was getting.

This is what inspired me to create and launch my first online course, a 21 Day Breathwork Journey. My intention behind this was to share bitesized breathwork with you daily in 20/30 minute videos which would simultaneously teach you about the breath and more specifically your own breathing pattern. All whilst building a daily practice which after 21 days, is starting to form a habit. One of the healthiest habits you could ever probably have.

Almost 40 people signed up to join me on that journey and the transformations were incredible. I hosted it live twice over the next year and it is now available as a homestudy program for you to work through at your own pace with lifetime access.

My reason for sharing this story with you, is not to just demonstrate the power of breathwork which has totally transformed my life, but to also share the reminder that when you are experiencing something in your life which seems like it’s unfair, or difficult, or you’re questioning why you, then try to see the lessons and the blessings.

For me, I knew that I had to experience what covid was for myself, so I could share my experience and be able to support you in a much more powerful way. I know that I can hold space for you in a much deeper way, if I have experienced something the same or similar to what you may be.

Covid also forced me to move my business online and adapt so I am now able to reach more people, who knows when or even if this would have happened otherwise?

Look for the silver lining my love, don’t drown in the darkness.

I’m always here, I’ve got you until you’ve got yourself.

Jessie

You can purchase the 21 Day Breathwork Journey for yourself here: Breathe With Me